Finding Your Own Path to Embrace Aging

What is your internal dialog about aging? Perhaps you, like so many others, have internalized the term “aging gracefully”. It gets bandied about a lot these days, but despite being loaded with the bests of intentions, it also brings with it an irksome dash of stigma. Because who is society, the internet, or anyone else for that matter, to define how each of us should age?

Yes, aging is something that is as unavoidable as the passing of the hours in the day. But having earned our mighty stripes and come this far, there is great liberation in the realization that there is no need to adhere to any set rules on how to age, but rather an opportunity to embrace aging in our own unique way—we can do it as gracefully or as ungracefully as we wish to!

Embracing Aging Means Leaning into the Journey

I am reminded of a recent article about Nicole Kidman, in which the journalist took a swipe at the actor for wearing a skimpy outfit and posing with her biceps flexed. The writer thought that the 55-year-old's efforts to “look half her age” were demeaning. I couldn't help but feel that while—absolutely—there is no need for any of us to contort ourselves in name of chasing a Hollywood bod, there is also no reason why we shouldn't.

That's the glorious thing about becoming older and wiser. It brings with us the opportunity to shake off others' expectations and chase our own bliss, whether that's a wellness regimen or learning something new; launching an online business with a girlfriend, traveling because we can, or simply kicking back and watching the clouds.

“I’m baffled that anyone might not think women get more beautiful as they get older. Confidence comes with age, and looking beautiful comes from the confidence someone has in themselves.” —Kate Winslet

Elbowing the media's running critique of older women well aside where it belongs, something that is worthy of our attention is recent research from Harvard University, revealing that people with more positive attitudes about growing old tend to live longer and healthier lives than those with negative thoughts about aging. It turns out that those of us embracing aging are far less vulnerable to ailments, enjoy better cognitive functioning, sleep better, feel happier, and experience a greater sense of purpose. So, how might such a feat be achieved?

Defining What Embracing Aging Looks Like For You

The journey begins with exploring what positive aging looks like for you; taking a deep dive into discovering the things that make you feel alive, content, and true to your unique character. Your version of embracing aging may be rooted in any tailored combination of your innate drives to nurture, to create, to achieve, to explore, or to connect. In fact, that last one is a biggie because, as Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, shares in his book Timeless: Nature’s Formula for Health and Longevity, human relationships are something of a secret sauce when it comes to aging well.

So we can pursue what makes our hearts sing and find our people—check and check. But there are other forms of connection that are illuminated as we go further into the realm of embracing aging. One is connection to our bodies—moving beyond what we see in the mirror and onward to how we feel inside our skin, experiencing grounded presence in the moment and in interacting with the world around us, wrapped in gratitude for possessing a living vessel that's still got some mojo about it.

From that vantage point of presence we spot another type of connection. The one that we share with our inner selves as we continue to uncover the things that will reward us with fulfillment through years yet to come. Inevitably, as we change, those things may well change too. The crux is that embracing aging now doesn't mean reaching a fixed point; it means really relaxing into the thrill of enjoying the journey.

“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” —Ingrid Bergman

It's inescapably true that there is a hurdle to climb over—or perhaps gleefully knock over— as we traverse the space between “younger woman” and “older woman”. Most of us tend to spend the first chapters of our lives climbing, as we forge families, careers, or both. At a certain point, an awareness comes of a younger generation coming up behind us, and with that moment comes a choice.

Either we can try to stay in their lane with elbows flailing, or we can embrace aging now by recognizing a new, vibrant, and exciting lane that is opening up before us. As we soon discover, it is one filled with abundant possibility and new chapters still to be written. It is also one that only appears by virtue of having been there and got the t-shirt. Yours may be a fresh uphill challenge with vibrant scenery, or it may be a cruise lane with a great soundtrack—but either way, why not embrace aging, make it yours, and take the turn?